An Autumnal Altar
I always frigging do this, I have great people over and we eat great food and because we’re having such a great time I can’t be arsed to take photos…let alone they be in focus.
Never the less, here what happened last night: Hayley and Nell came over, we ate lots of food, we got our stomach out at the end and then we bid each other adieu. There was chatting and farting in between all of that.
The ladies were instructed to bring an offering for the AUTUMN ALTAR - of which I will publish a photo of later. Hayley brought some spooky witches fingers to stuff in our mouths and Nell brought a dangerously large pineapple. They were placed on the candlelit hearth and dinner began.
I made motherfucking Chili Pumpkin Cranberry Risotto with Spicy Toasted Pumpkin Seeds, a vegan halloweeny treat. There were moments when I put in the cinnamon and the coconut milk that I worried that I was accidentally making a giant rice pudding. My only adjustments was to use a butternut squash instead of a pumpkin, and to use pumpkin kernels for the crispy topper. It was all really lovely - a little bit under seasoned - but that was modified with lashings of SALT. I stuffed my guests full of nutritious autumnal goodness!
Hayley and Nell repaid me with sweet fucking treats. After dinner we ate treacle pudding with cream and strawberries….and grapes…we didn’t have room for Nell’s Turkish puddings and dates…but don’t worry babes, they’re gonna go down this mouth hole in the next few days. We drank prosecco, except Nell for she is in training at the moment.
As PER FUCKING ALWAYS it was a brilliant laugh, END OF!
We jump off the hamster wheel of modern life for a rice and spinach casserole with a side order of fuck you (puttenesca salsa).
The casserole was great because it ticks all our favourite boxes: CHEAP, HEALTHY & HEARTY. I used Tammy’s recipe here, thanks Tammy! It was really easy to make too, great if you’re haggard after work as we usually are. On the side I made up a basic salsa with capers, olives, chili, basil, bit of vinegar, bit of salt, bit of sugar and loads of fresh tomatoes. It was fabulous, babes! Oh yeah, I put some cheesy oats on the top because I felt like it.
*if by hamster food I mean a top notch vegetarian dish, then YES.
We drank posh wine in a posh wine place before we went on to do something secret in London Bridge…and this is what it looked like
We ate lunch at a pub in a village with our family and this is what it looked like.
Take A Long Walk Off A Short Pierogi!
A first for the this EFIR duo! I (Jablette) have made pierogi before, but not for ages…it was time!
Robert followed this helpful step by step guide to sort the dough out. I followed this recipe for the sauerkraut and mushroom filling…but omitted the boiled egg…yuck for fucks sake!
It was a lot of fun and turned out a lot better than we expected. I’d had a pierogi party to celebrate my birthday years ago and I remember them being a little claggy. These were still fairy stodgy, but much better…our lesson here is to roll the dough out thinner…also to let it sit by itself and think about things for a lot longer. Like making gnocchi, it’s mega fun when they rise up and bounce to the beat of the boil!
To serve we fried up some lean bacon and slapped on some sour cream, a little bit of dill, salt and pepper and you’ve arrived at Polski Heaven!
Jack the Flipper
Friday! Friday! Guess what’s on our plate? Fish, you frumpy old fart. Sorry about the attitude, it’s not Friday anymore - it’s Tuesday…
This fine specimen is a rainbow trout baked in lemon butter (like last week coz it’s leftover buttock). The gore atop it is a splattering of dried tomatoes, herbs and pine nuts, which was a bit nothingy so neutral taste, but dashing blood splashing looks! The main event was combined with rice we already had in the cupboard and some fine ass green beans. So cheap decadence at Fluffton Lodge!
Robert spent a hellish 4 hours in Brent Cross Shopping Centre at the (cr)Apple Store, so he was pleased to be greeted by this fishy dish when he got in. He also got us some Comte cheese for a treat. It’s one of my total ruddy faves, so I was very thankful.
We watched Re-Animator whilst we snaffled all this – a feast of gore, to get us revved up for Halloween!
Carrot Flavored Bra Pads
Ha ha ha!
I asked the internet, “is there such a thing as carrot cookies?” And the internet said “Yeah, I guess.” So we made carrot cookies.
We ran out of butter halfway through this recipe, so Justyna substituted with coconut oil. It worked! The end result? These are not so much cookies as they are very thin and round pieces of carrot cake. But who cares? Carrot cake is good, too. I’m not sure if they were soft because of the coconut oil or not. Please make carrot cookies the regular way and tell me how they work out.
It was Sunday night and Golabki was on the menu. Yeah, we made it before! Justyna was out so I was left to fend for myself. I was certain that I once made it on my own, but Justyna said “no, you definitely didn’t.”
Damn right I definitely didn’t! This was not an easy task for a man with no dexterity! WHOA! So I followed these instructions, you can do it too. Our cabbage was of medium size, so it didn’t have 18 good sized leaves, but WHATEVAH! The leaves that were too small to roll up, I chopped up and blended and mixed in with the porky rice mixture. Cabbage inside cabbage!
Just before entering the oven, I topped this with a carton of prefab tomato and basil soup. I was surprised that it worked better than tomato sauce, but Justyna was not surprised.
I did not cry. For all the tense moments, It tasted really good!
We made vegan banana and oat cookies this week, but I got the recipe off the Peta website and I hate them as an organisation so don’t want to link to them.
The recipe was mental anyway and we adapted it loads, our version is better-er!
We’re on a cheapo tip at the moment, cuz life’s like that sometimes…a lot of times. And if you follow this blog for a second you’ll know we luv fish on a friday!. So with these two statements in mind…a cheap fish dish.
Well simple, with a lot going on and good for mind and body health too. There was an offer on a white Rioja at the supermarket so that was price right too…a dry savoury whine for our oily savoury fish, what a bombastic combo!
Fun Fact: I find mackerel really hard to spell and have spelled in about 4 different ways during the post - thank forks for spellchecker!
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