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Sloppy old crap and other adventures!

Eating food is right!

13th April 2014

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Pork Creeps

Crepes actually, but I was trying to make the title more interesting. It’s Sunday, the weekend is sadly drawing to a close. Robert finished an essay, I buggered about wondering what I’m doing with my life and together we ate dinner.

Healthy and hearty was this dinner ‘party’. The recipe is from an Italian dieting book, which actually has some pretty good recipes. I’ve included an almost illegible photograph of the page to save me actually having to talk about making it. As you can sort of see it says this recipe serves 8, but in this household that’s four portions sonny jim. 

And it was really great. I produced the most beautiful crepes I have ever swirled. The mushrooms and sage made the pork gurgle with delight and I got to eat a lot of meat with out busting out of my shorts.

My only issue was transporting the crepe roll to the plate, as you can see by the mashed up meat and sliding tomatoes rollicking around on the plate. But whatever mate, it all goes down the same hole and comes out the other one.

Tagged: itlalianporkcrepespancakesrocket

13th April 2014

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Ruin Crust

Good Day! Hi! I went to see the Ruin Lust show at Tate Britain today with my friend and colleague Keara. Gotta say, it wasn’t particularly challenging and I found myself pretty underwhelmed when we left. But maybe I was just hungry? 

We went to the cafe there, not something I usually do, as gallery cafes tend to purvey expensive crud, but I was feeling wobbly and we wanted to sit down and chat for a while post exhibition. 

Keara picked small foods from the kiddie section, a miniature sandwich, and lots of stuff in plastic: juice, grapes, cookie etc. I didn’t really ask, because I’m rude, whether she enjoyed her food or not. But she ate it, so I take that to mean it was OK.

I picked an overpriced ham sandwich which I transferred my lipstick onto and ate that as well. It was fine, but like the old arse I am: I could have made that at home for a quarter of the price. 

I drank some Darjeeling tea and that’s about it. Oh it was a lovely sunny day and I really like spending time with Keara.

Tagged: tate britainruin lusthamsandwichkiddie mealsdarjeeling tea

13th April 2014

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Sinister Tea

I’m a big fan of Yogi teas, this week I got some Heartwarming tea which has basil, orange and chili in it - a combo that works for me. I’m not a big fan of the hippy clap trap they have printed on their tea bag labels. Normally I read the insipid positive statement, grunt derisively, and move on.

But over the weekend Robert was making the tea and exclaimed ‘What’s going on?!’ as he read the teabag messages. First off ‘Face it’ which we took to be an authoritative demand to reflect on our seedy lives. And then ‘Fear knocked at the door’, what? When? No thank you! We’re just having a cup of wanky tea at home thanks! Then later ‘Faith answered: no one’s there’ is this replying to fear? Are you telling us our lives are empty? We literally have no idea what all this means.

The tea has now back to business as usual, with drivel about looking into your heart etc. Leaving us perplexed by last nights cryptic reign of terror.

Tagged: yogi teacryptic reign of terrorherbal teawanky tea

13th April 2014

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Hey Good Cookin’, What’s Lookin?

Sit those haunches down and eat our week, WITH YOUR EYES!

On Monday Robert made a pork meatloaf with a crispy topping of bacon, cheese and breadcrumbs. This loaf shares its plate with peas and potatoes. Filling, thrilling AND willing!

On Tuesday I made some baked gnocchi, which looks more like baked sloppy, but tasted mighty fine. There was olives, pesto, tomatoes and mozzarella going on here with a peppery rocket salad. 

On Wednesday Bob wowed us with a creamy tuna and broccoli pasta bake. The only trees we smoke are broccoli florets, and by smoke I mean eat…with our mouths.

On Thursday I made a zingy lime and quorn stir fry with carrots, honey and fresh coriander. I was accidentally a bit stingy with the portions here, sorry! 

On Friday Roberto whipped up a silky asparagus and squash risotto and we indulged in a bottle of Gewurztraminer which was a herby peach of a drink. Easing into the weekend with asparagus spears, our urine didn’t stink the next day either.

We are truly blessed! 

Tagged: gewurztraminerquornstir fryrisottognocchinoodlesmeat loafporkerasparagusno stinky pisspastapotatoespeasbrocolirocket

10th April 2014

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HI THERE!
Found this on my phone, is it worthy enough to blog about? You bet your boots it is. Sauteed broccoli, garlic and chili perched on a bouncy bed of wholemeal spaghetti, luxuriating in lemon juice and dappled with Parmesan and powdered almonds.
Also my top tip is to use all of the broccoli. The stems are sweet and tasty, so chop them up into green discs and saute, roast or simply bask in their raw splendour.   

HI THERE!

Found this on my phone, is it worthy enough to blog about? You bet your boots it is. Sauteed broccoli, garlic and chili perched on a bouncy bed of wholemeal spaghetti, luxuriating in lemon juice and dappled with Parmesan and powdered almonds.

Also my top tip is to use all of the broccoli. The stems are sweet and tasty, so chop them up into green discs and saute, roast or simply bask in their raw splendour.   

Tagged: broccolipastacheap and healthyvegetarian

7th April 2014

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What’s Happening in this Bowl?!

We’re dumping a blended mixture of oil and an entire zucchini into a bowl of cocoa powder and chocolate chips. Why are we doing this? Because we are making zucchini brownies. Fitsugar can tell you how to do this, but i can tell you that these brownies are absolutely amazing. It’s impressive just how well these turned out. It’s not quite the same as an egged up brownie, but it’s a delicious alternative all the same.

I call these blownies because they are blowing my mind and my taste buds. BLOWNIES

JB sez: I’m eating a brownie and I’m eating a courgette - I LOVE IT!

Tagged: dessertbrownieveganzucchinivegetablechocolatevegetable desserti can't stop that penisblownies

7th April 2014

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La Bobbolia
After our disappointing meal at La Magnolia last week, I couldn’t get the desire to have good fish to cancel it out. So I got some fish and I made it good.
Pan-seared sea bass fillets served with hasselback potatoes (sans cheese) and roasted broccoli. Okay, it’s basically that same meal again, but with an xxxtra special sauce!
That’s not a pile of puke on the plate, but a black olive puree. I took 1/2 cup of cut up black olives and put them in a blender with a two tablespoons of oil, three teaspoons of capers, half a lemon zest and juice and a whole cut up chili, and pureed that shit until smooth. The result was a winning combination that was not unlike salsa verde, but a bit more olivey and 100% vegan. I guess that probably doesn’t matter if you’re eating it with fish, but maybe you could pair it with a Quorn escalope or some kind of salad? I don’t make the rules.

La Bobbolia

After our disappointing meal at La Magnolia last week, I couldn’t get the desire to have good fish to cancel it out. So I got some fish and I made it good.

Pan-seared sea bass fillets served with hasselback potatoes (sans cheese) and roasted broccoli. Okay, it’s basically that same meal again, but with an xxxtra special sauce!

That’s not a pile of puke on the plate, but a black olive puree. I took 1/2 cup of cut up black olives and put them in a blender with a two tablespoons of oil, three teaspoons of capers, half a lemon zest and juice and a whole cut up chili, and pureed that shit until smooth. The result was a winning combination that was not unlike salsa verde, but a bit more olivey and 100% vegan. I guess that probably doesn’t matter if you’re eating it with fish, but maybe you could pair it with a Quorn escalope or some kind of salad? I don’t make the rules.

Tagged: fish on a friday...againfriday so flossy!sea basssea bass runrun bass runolive pureevegan with fishhasselback

6th April 2014

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Made Up Mexican
Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: boiled rice and chopped avocado. There. Simple.
I made some salsa, this was easy too: I chopped up 6 tomatoes, and mixed them with a crushed garlic clove, a jalapeno pepper (chopped of course, you ninny), some spring onions, a large handful of fresh coriander, a tbsp of white wine vinegar, a tsp of sugar and the juice of half a lime. I put a bit of salt with that and the refrigerated it until it was feeding time.
Then I started on what was going to be spicy kidney bean and bell pepper burgers, but ended up in a sloppy loaf format. I won’t regale you with the recipe, as this was a tasty failure. Notable is the crushed tortilla topping. I basically ground up some crisps and baked it on top of my sludgy loaf.
The resultant jolly plate was a feast of colour and taste, with some odd but not unpleasant textures.

Made Up Mexican

Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: boiled rice and chopped avocado. There. Simple.

I made some salsa, this was easy too: I chopped up 6 tomatoes, and mixed them with a crushed garlic clove, a jalapeno pepper (chopped of course, you ninny), some spring onions, a large handful of fresh coriander, a tbsp of white wine vinegar, a tsp of sugar and the juice of half a lime. I put a bit of salt with that and the refrigerated it until it was feeding time.

Then I started on what was going to be spicy kidney bean and bell pepper burgers, but ended up in a sloppy loaf format. I won’t regale you with the recipe, as this was a tasty failure. Notable is the crushed tortilla topping. I basically ground up some crisps and baked it on top of my sludgy loaf.

The resultant jolly plate was a feast of colour and taste, with some odd but not unpleasant textures.

Tagged: veganmexicansort ofkidney beansricetortilla crispsavocadosalsasloppy old crap

6th April 2014

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Leftover fennel and Leftover celery join hands in this simple cleansing soup. It did the trick, I can’t really say more than that because I’m tired. 

Leftover fennel and Leftover celery join hands in this simple cleansing soup. It did the trick, I can’t really say more than that because I’m tired. 

Tagged: fennelcelerysoupleftover lighting

4th April 2014

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Chicken Soup a la Bob
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
Oil and salt up some chicken titties and bake them at 200 for 20 minutes, turning halfway through
Heat up a bunch of butter in a pot that’s big enough to hold a lot of soup. Cook some carrots, celery and onion in that butter until they start to get soft
Add a tablespoon of flour and mix it all around for a minute.
Dump in 2 pints of stock of your choice. I used vegetable stock. Season it with any seasoning you’r pleasoning, then bring to the boil. Simmer for 10 minutes.
Shred the chicken! I like the two fork method, myself.
Put the chicken in the soup along with some cut-up asparagus.
Simmer for another 10 minutes.
Mix with as much or as little cooked pasta as you like. WHATEVER!

Chicken Soup a la Bob

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

  1. Oil and salt up some chicken titties and bake them at 200 for 20 minutes, turning halfway through
  2. Heat up a bunch of butter in a pot that’s big enough to hold a lot of soup. Cook some carrots, celery and onion in that butter until they start to get soft
  3. Add a tablespoon of flour and mix it all around for a minute.
  4. Dump in 2 pints of stock of your choice. I used vegetable stock. Season it with any seasoning you’r pleasoning, then bring to the boil. Simmer for 10 minutes.
  5. Shred the chicken! I like the two fork method, myself.
  6. Put the chicken in the soup along with some cut-up asparagus.
  7. Simmer for another 10 minutes.
  8. Mix with as much or as little cooked pasta as you like. WHATEVER!

Tagged: chicken soupchickeneasysoup