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23rd April 2014

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Easter Keester Chicken Lickers: Roast Chicken Two-Way!

As you may not know, last weekend was Easter weekend. That means a four day blow-out of a weekend! Amazing! Spring Break! WooOOOO! We decided to have our party in the kitchen: roasting a bird!

As it was with our Xmas Goose, bird-roasting is fairly uncharted territory for the both of us, so we followed this handy recipe. Lucky for us and lucky for you, roasting a lil’ chicken is a lot easier and less time-consuming than roasting a giant goose. We followed the recipe to the letter, except Justyna stuck half a lemon up its bullyhole because she thought she was supposed to. She wasn’t, but she’ll get no arguments from this fella!

An hour and a half later, you’ll have a steamin’ hot tray of succulent bird, crispy potatoes and springtime-soft carrots, peas and broad beans.

We forgot to take a picture of the whole roast bird. I really cannot believe this. I blame hunger.

A thigh, a wing, a tit for two. Chicken is easy, for us and for you!

Later that evening, Justyna had an out-there idea about what we should do with the disassembled chicken husk: Spring Chicken Soup

What do you do with a handsome chicken carcass? You make fresh chicken stock! This was an EFIR first which we will dabble with again because it’s easy, economical and tasty. I simmered chicken bones with a few pints of water with celery, parsley, salt and pepper for 4 hours. I skimmed the scrud off the top, and I strained the stock through a colander and put the gnarly bits in the bin. voila STOCK.

We made a simple chicken noodle soup by adding some pasta, a quarter of a lemon, some dried sage and 2 bay leaves. When the pasta was cooked we dropped in leftover chicken scraps and vegetables from our roast and a big handful of fresh basil and parsley.

We enjoyed this with April sun streaming in through the windows, a hearty and healthy alternative format for our chicken and veg this Easter.

Tagged: chickenroastroast chickendinnereasterholidaysoupchicken noodle souppenisseinfeld

19th April 2014

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Happy Eater!

Whoa we just keep on eating meals at regular intervals!

This is another meal just using what was lying around. I caramelized an onion with honey and balsamic vinegar, mixed it with some chopped olives and put it atop a sheet of defrosted filo pastry that had been lurking in our fridge for months and cooked it in the oven for 15 minutes.

This cheap little tart was accompanied by broad beans squirted with lime and some garlic and parsley roasted mushrooms. Three portions of vegetables like it ain’t no thing, felt like it was fancy but it was really no bother, used up a load of stuff we already had, now we’re sated and satanic!

Tagged: easterhappy eatermushroomsbroad beansoniononion tartcaramelized onionstart

19th April 2014

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Really Big Cookies
Hey! We made these really big cookies last Sunday, and it was a treat that lasted us all damn week! This made fourteen massive baked goods, for you and a loved one to share for seven straight days.
These large and soft cookies were almost like brownies. While not nearly as healthy as last week’s brownies, it’s nice to treat yourself.

Really Big Cookies

Hey! We made these really big cookies last Sunday, and it was a treat that lasted us all damn week! This made fourteen massive baked goods, for you and a loved one to share for seven straight days.

These large and soft cookies were almost like brownies. While not nearly as healthy as last week’s brownies, it’s nice to treat yourself.

Tagged: big cookiescookiesbigchocolatechocolate chipdessertbrowniesbaking

19th April 2014

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Noodle Omelette
I’m not going to call this a Nomelette, because that’s what an imbecile would do. I have busted this out many moons ago in a recipe entitled Please Don’t Soak Your Mooncup in my Espresso Mug. No need for such precautions now, as it’s doubtful Robert would pull such a foul stunt!
This recipe used wholewheat spaghetti draped with some leftover pesto, flopped in a pan and then eggs mixed with fresh herbs poured on top. I did not flip this because I was scared. I inverted it on a plate to cook the other side, and there is no shame in that.
Season and slide on to a plate next to a forest of fresh spinach. All stuff we had in the house. All stuff you want in your mouth.

Noodle Omelette

I’m not going to call this a Nomelette, because that’s what an imbecile would do. I have busted this out many moons ago in a recipe entitled Please Don’t Soak Your Mooncup in my Espresso Mug. No need for such precautions now, as it’s doubtful Robert would pull such a foul stunt!

This recipe used wholewheat spaghetti draped with some leftover pesto, flopped in a pan and then eggs mixed with fresh herbs poured on top. I did not flip this because I was scared. I inverted it on a plate to cook the other side, and there is no shame in that.

Season and slide on to a plate next to a forest of fresh spinach. All stuff we had in the house. All stuff you want in your mouth.

Tagged: spaghettipestoomeletteeggsspinachleftover lighting

19th April 2014

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Gooooood Friday!

It’s Friday, but Thursday was like Friday, thanks to the crucifixion! So the party continues, with fish on a Friday. We hadn’t had salmon for a while (that wasn’t shit) and I’ve avoided buying puy lentils because I have an aural memory of my mum saying it in a high pitch voice which puts me off, plus their relatively expensive.

We made Chili and lime crusted salmon with creamy herby lentils, and it was one of those meals that we couldn’t stop saying how good it was, during and after. I completely covered the salmon in moss, so it looked like a turf covered Anderson shelter. Bob’s creamy lentils used basil, parsley and spinach to make a camouflage print mound next to our shelter. A dish they probably wouldn’t have been serving during an air raid OR a crucifixion. And though our slip shod photography shows us up, our results actually looked better than the sloppy messy pictured in the actual recipe.

Tagged: fish on a friday...againfishsalmonpuylentilscrusteddustedanderson sheltercamocamoflagegood friday

19th April 2014

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Eat the Weak Week

Roll up roll up. it’s Bob’s Bean Chili. Black beans, kidney beans, chili…you get the idea. Fresh coriander and sour cream turn this bean feast into a DREAM.

Cous cous cake. Cous cous made fat in stock, mixed with grated cheese and friend leeks. I baked this but it didn’t stay together but it tasted great all the same. Served with a tomato and herb salad! I’ve made it before here. No sizzurp because it was a weeknight.

Spicy pasta, this had leeks and mushroom and chili in it. It was from a cook book but wasn’t too impressive. It filled a hole and was healthy, which we were both grateful for.

Chicken and peas risotto. It’s not rocket science, it’s a risotto. I added tarragon and it all went well. Here’s this blogs history of risottos, if you can stomach it.

With that half arsed round up out of the way, I warn you…we’ve been cooking some Easter madness round here, so stay egged!

Tagged: pastarisottoweeknight shitechickencous cous cakecous couschilipeastake a leek

13th April 2014

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Pork Creeps

Crepes actually, but I was trying to make the title more interesting. It’s Sunday, the weekend is sadly drawing to a close. Robert finished an essay, I buggered about wondering what I’m doing with my life and together we ate dinner.

Healthy and hearty was this dinner ‘party’. The recipe is from an Italian dieting book, which actually has some pretty good recipes. I’ve included an almost illegible photograph of the page to save me actually having to talk about making it. As you can sort of see it says this recipe serves 8, but in this household that’s four portions sonny jim. 

And it was really great. I produced the most beautiful crepes I have ever swirled. The mushrooms and sage made the pork gurgle with delight and I got to eat a lot of meat with out busting out of my shorts.

My only issue was transporting the crepe roll to the plate, as you can see by the mashed up meat and sliding tomatoes rollicking around on the plate. But whatever mate, it all goes down the same hole and comes out the other one.

Tagged: itlalianporkcrepespancakesrocket

13th April 2014

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Ruin Crust

Good Day! Hi! I went to see the Ruin Lust show at Tate Britain today with my friend and colleague Keara. Gotta say, it wasn’t particularly challenging and I found myself pretty underwhelmed when we left. But maybe I was just hungry? 

We went to the cafe there, not something I usually do, as gallery cafes tend to purvey expensive crud, but I was feeling wobbly and we wanted to sit down and chat for a while post exhibition. 

Keara picked small foods from the kiddie section, a miniature sandwich, and lots of stuff in plastic: juice, grapes, cookie etc. I didn’t really ask, because I’m rude, whether she enjoyed her food or not. But she ate it, so I take that to mean it was OK.

I picked an overpriced ham sandwich which I transferred my lipstick onto and ate that as well. It was fine, but like the old arse I am: I could have made that at home for a quarter of the price. 

I drank some Darjeeling tea and that’s about it. Oh it was a lovely sunny day and I really like spending time with Keara.

Tagged: tate britainruin lusthamsandwichkiddie mealsdarjeeling tea

13th April 2014

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Sinister Tea

I’m a big fan of Yogi teas, this week I got some Heartwarming tea which has basil, orange and chili in it - a combo that works for me. I’m not a big fan of the hippy clap trap they have printed on their tea bag labels. Normally I read the insipid positive statement, grunt derisively, and move on.

But over the weekend Robert was making the tea and exclaimed ‘What’s going on?!’ as he read the teabag messages. First off ‘Face it’ which we took to be an authoritative demand to reflect on our seedy lives. And then ‘Fear knocked at the door’, what? When? No thank you! We’re just having a cup of wanky tea at home thanks! Then later ‘Faith answered: no one’s there’ is this replying to fear? Are you telling us our lives are empty? We literally have no idea what all this means.

The tea has now back to business as usual, with drivel about looking into your heart etc. Leaving us perplexed by last nights cryptic reign of terror.

Tagged: yogi teacryptic reign of terrorherbal teawanky tea

13th April 2014

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Hey Good Cookin’, What’s Lookin?

Sit those haunches down and eat our week, WITH YOUR EYES!

On Monday Robert made a pork meatloaf with a crispy topping of bacon, cheese and breadcrumbs. This loaf shares its plate with peas and potatoes. Filling, thrilling AND willing!

On Tuesday I made some baked gnocchi, which looks more like baked sloppy, but tasted mighty fine. There was olives, pesto, tomatoes and mozzarella going on here with a peppery rocket salad. 

On Wednesday Bob wowed us with a creamy tuna and broccoli pasta bake. The only trees we smoke are broccoli florets, and by smoke I mean eat…with our mouths.

On Thursday I made a zingy lime and quorn stir fry with carrots, honey and fresh coriander. I was accidentally a bit stingy with the portions here, sorry! 

On Friday Roberto whipped up a silky asparagus and squash risotto and we indulged in a bottle of Gewurztraminer which was a herby peach of a drink. Easing into the weekend with asparagus spears, our urine didn’t stink the next day either.

We are truly blessed! 

Tagged: gewurztraminerquornstir fryrisottognocchinoodlesmeat loafporkerasparagusno stinky pisspastapotatoespeasbrocolirocket